Mom guilt…
I want to unpack the mom guilt!!! Anyone else want to jump on board??? Mom guilt is a feeling of guilt, anxiety, or self-doubt that many mothers experience as a result of the pressure to be a perfect parent and meet the expectations of society, family, and their own internal standards. It is a common phenomenon that can affect mothers from various backgrounds and cultures. Why in the world do we do this to ourselves, to other women, to our own mothers?
Being a mom or dad is a beautiful and wonderful thing. We love our kids with our whole hearts. We want to do our best by them. This can be especially true when we have our own childhood trauma. We set expectations so high no one could possibly achieve them and then we berate ourselves for not living up to them. Logically, we know these are unrealistic expectations but it doesn’t stop the guilt.
Take time for yourself, it is ok…
Taking time to care for ourselves is extremely important. If you are running on empty, you cannot have the mental, emotional, and physical space to be at your best. This can be a facial mask at home, a pedicure, drinks with the girls, or something similar. It can be easy as throwing on some loud music and rolling through Starbucks for your latte and taking 15 minutes just for you. Obviously, something longer would be awesome, but let’s face it, many of us do not have that luxury.
Seizing the moments when you can in so important to recharge. At first, you will most definitely feel guilty! It may be the first 25 times you feel guilty. You have to keep reminding yourself you need this. Your kids need a happy mama. Take the time mama, you deserve it. Start small and work up to more time but do not give up!
Common sources of mom guilt include
1. Fear of not being able to provide the best possible care for their children
2. Feeling like they are not doing enough to support their children’s education, extracurricular activities, or social development
3. Worrying about making mistakes or poor parenting decisions
4. Feeling inadequate or insufficient as a mother due to societal or media pressure
5. Struggling to balance work and family responsibilities
6. Comparing themselves to other mothers or perceived expectations
7. Feeling guilty for prioritizing personal needs or desires over those of their children
8. Self-blame for not being able to prevent or mitigate stress, anxiety, or other negative emotions in their children
Mom guilt can manifest in various ways
1. Overwhelm and anxiety
2. Self-doubt and self-criticism
3. Fears of not being good enough as a mother
4. Difficulty saying “no” or setting boundaries
5. Overcommitting and taking on too much responsibility
6. Feeling exhausted and drained from trying to meet impossible standards
7. Difficulty seeking help or support due to fear of judgment
To cope with mom guilt, it’s essential to
1. Practice self-compassion and acknowledge that it’s okay to make mistakes
2. Set realistic expectations and prioritize self-care
3. Communicate openly with your partner, family, and friends about your feelings
4. Seek support from online communities, support groups, or therapy
5. Focus on building resilience and developing coping strategies
6. Celebrate your strengths and accomplishments as a mother
7. Practice mindfulness and self-care activities to reduce stress and anxiety
Remember that mom guilt is a common experience, and it’s essential to recognize that you are not alone in feeling this way. By acknowledging your feelings and taking steps to address them, you can work towards building a more positive and compassionate relationship with yourself as a mother.
